Tag Archives: #writing

Who is the person that controls you?

I am reading the Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual by Jocko Willink, and there is a part at the beginning titled “The person you can control.” These thoughts from Jocko apply 100% to how to deal with my family members.

I have been living away from my family’s house for two years. When I got back, I started giving shit to my sister on how she should live her life. Starting from having green grass in the desert is not sustainable. In addition, I was criticizing her consumerism; why do you have some man TVs and not a lot of books? Finally, my better half told me to stop being annoying, and it hit me, shut the fuck up! It was exhausting, so why do I do this?

First, it was because I thought that my perspective could help improve my sister’s life. It’s not coming from the wrong place, but most of the time, please, you just got to shut up.

The importance of shutting the fuck up. OMG, please stop oversharing your opinion. I almost want to get a tattoo “why don’t you just shut the fuck up?

It brings me to meat potatoes and this post about which person you can control.

“People are not who you want them to be. Kill your idols. Sure there are things we can learn from people – but people aren’t going to be what you think they are- what they should be.

People, even those you have put up on a pedestal, will be faulted, weak, egomaniacal, and condescending. They are going to be lazy, entitled, and shortsighted. They will not be perfect, far from it.

That’s fine. Learn from their weaknesses. Of course: Learn from their strengths and mimic and copy them in what they do well. But equally as important: Learn from their faults.

See what not to do.

Because you can’t control other people, you can’t make them what you want them to be. You can’t make them who you want them to be.

The only person you can control is you. So focus on making yourself who you want you to be:


Discipline your body—free your mind. Get up early, and go. Get after it, and you will become the person you want to be. And you become that person through:

One. Small. Decision. At. A. Time.” – Jocko Willink

Excellent advice because you can’t control your siblings, you can’t control your spouse, you can’t control your parents, and you can’t control your boss. So what can you do? You can barely contain yourself sometimes. So you need to focus on yourself and shut the fuck up.